Let Go
by lookingforthestars
Summary: "I don't know if you want to know this, but, uh…Walter's been pacing around outside for like five minutes."


**This was one of those fics that I feel like kept steering into cheesy, but whatever, there are worse things in life than a little cheese.**

"Mom?"

Paige frowned, glancing up from her laptop. Ralph hadn't spoken in almost an hour, and his voice startled her out of her focus. "Yeah, baby?"

"I don't know if you want to know this, but, uh…" He glanced out the window again, offering a small shrug. "Walter's been pacing around outside for like five minutes."

If she'd had any intention of pretending that information didn't affect her, her choked cough betrayed her. She grabbed her water bottle off the table, taking a quick swig to calm her throat before replacing it. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I assumed he would come up eventually, but those odds decrease the longer he's here."

She held herself back from snapping at Ralph for his nonchalant tone. After all, seeing Walter wasn't unusual for him. The genius hadn't stepped foot near her building for almost two months, though. A month and three weeks and probably change, she didn't quite know, although he almost certainly did.

Maybe something was wrong. A tiny shiver ran along her spine at the thought that something had happened to Cabe or Florence, something he couldn't relay over a phone call. "I'm going to talk to him," she said, pushing her laptop aside and nervously tightening her loose ponytail. "Stay here."

She didn't wait to hear Ralph's response, slipping on a pair of flats and exiting the apartment. Her heart was pounding out of her chest as she descended the stairs and she chastised her racing mind. She ran into him frequently on jobs, dropped Ralph off with him twice a week like clockwork. There was no reason for his presence to make her feel so raw and jittery. She didn't even want him there.

Paige ignored the lack of conviction that thought inspired in her and swung the door open, tugging her sweater tighter around her. She wasn't sure if it was the drop in temperature or the blood rushing to her stomach that was making her feel so cold. Walter was staring down at the sidewalk, muttering words she couldn't make out, until the door clanged shut behind her and he finally snapped to attention. "Paige?"

He seemed more surprised to see her than he should have been, considering where they were. "What are you doing here?" she blurted out unceremoniously.

"Ralph saw me, didn't he?"

"You're not exactly being stealthy," Paige sniped, annoyed that he was evading her question. "Walter, did something happen? Why are you here?"

"Oh. Right." Walter curled his bottom lip under, concentrating deeply like he was solving an equation instead of responding to an incredibly basic question. Her irritation dissipated almost immediately, replaced by a pang of something unpleasant. She used to love when that expression came over his face. Somehow, despite everything, that pang told her she still missed it. "I'm not entirely sure. I needed to clear my head, so I went for a drive and I just…ended up…here."

She supposed that was part of an answer. She didn't have to press for the rest of it. The wise course of action was to tell him to go home and take refuge in the safety of her apartment again. With her son and her work and everything that was stable and within her control.

Paige wasn't sure she'd ever been wise when it came to Walter. "You're still here."

"Mm," he grunted, shifting his weight between his feet. It was obvious that he knew pacing in front of her would be rude, but he was too anxious to stand still. "I wish I'd brought, uh…f-flowers or something like that."

She was used to not being able to follow Walter's train of thought, but he was jumping around more erratically than usual. "Flowers?"

"I'm not sure how to do this," he continued, seeming not to hear her. "In the past, when my relationships ended, I felt relieved. The rejection hurt, of course, but I knew the experiment had run its course. That was always obvious."

 _An experiment._ She regretted using that word in the heat of the moment. Paige's knowledge of the scientific method wasn't as extensive as his, but she didn't know if something could qualify as an experiment when she was desperate for a certain outcome. "Relationships fail," she said, swallowing to keep her voice even. "It happens, Walter."

The genius stopped shuffling, lifting his head to look at her. There was so much uncertainty and determination in his eyes that Paige felt the knot in her stomach pull tighter. "S-Sometimes. But even successful relationships go through difficult periods. It doesn't mean they're doomed to fail."

 _They_ were always doomed to fail. Too different to make it work. Too bad at communicating. Too many obstacles. That was what she'd told herself in the immediate aftermath. But in the months since then, it was hard to tell how much of it was true and how much she made up to keep herself protected. "We broke up."

"I know. I'm aware." Another pang. If he'd dumped her half as publicly, as insultingly, she wouldn't be caught dead lingering outside his apartment. "I-I need to ask if…" He shook his head, clearing his throat and starting over. "Here's what I would like to say. I m-miss you. And if we can't be together because you don't want to be, I can accept that outcome. But in hindsight, I realize that some of the things you said could be attributed to anger. And I can't accept us not being together just because I hurt you and was too proud to come here and ask for another chance."

Paige's legs felt like gelatin beneath her and she took a breath to brace herself. There was nothing really poetic about Walter, but when he spoke genuinely, she crumbled every time. She couldn't help it.

But it wasn't as simple as he made it sound. She hadn't been the only one who had those feelings for him. Even if Toby had insisted there were no markers to suggest that they were or had ever been together.

"I was angry," she admitted quietly, looking down at her shoes so she wouldn't have to see his reaction. "But that doesn't change the fact that Florence is a better match for you than I ever was. We're deluding ourselves if we say otherwise. I can't compete with that, Walter."

"Y-You were never competing with anyone." Walter sighed, taking a cautious step toward her. "By that logic, you would have chosen Tim over me. Or virtually anyone else. Having similar interests can't be the entire foundation of a relationship, or we never would have developed these feelings for each other at all."

She had chosen Tim over him, briefly. But it all ended back up at Walter, because everything _always_ ended at Walter, even when she fought it with every fiber of her body. "If that was true, then we would have made it work."

"We did. For a while." Walter gave her an earnest look, waiting for her to disagree, but she didn't. When it was good, it had been amazing. Better than everything she imagined. "It's possible that I'm wrong and you were as unhappy as you claimed to be. And if that's true, then I have no desire to put you through it again. But I thought the alternative was worth taking a chance on."

Paige hugged her arms to her body, feeling simultaneously too hot and too cold. She couldn't even remember now what she'd planned to say when she came out here, but it didn't matter. Certainly nothing that prepared her to respond to this. "What's the alternative?"

He straightened up slightly, some of the uncertainty draining from his face. "T-The alternative is that you said hurtful things because I hurt you. I know I did. I just took too long to realize it. And I am deeply sorry about that, Paige, I didn't…" Walter pressed his eyes shut, his forehead creasing. "There was nothing romantic about any of the time I spent with Florence. I was and still am committed to you. Even if you don't forgive me, I think you should know that. You don't deserve to…t-to feel that way again."

 _Unwanted. Lacking._ Paige had already accepted—with some unsubtle hints from Toby and Happy—that she'd overreacted about his interactions with Florence. But it didn't mean that he hadn't gotten bored with her. Stopped believing she was worth the effort.

Then again, he had every reason to think the same about her. She'd practically shouted it from the roof. And he was there anyway, bracing himself against another hit of rejection just on the off chance that he was wrong. Just like the night he'd first admitted, consciously, that he was in love with her.

Maybe he'd always been the braver one when it came to this.

Paige sniffed, her face starting to burn from the cold or shame or adrenaline, maybe all three. When she was slinging tuna sandwiches at Nemo's, she never would have pictured herself facing down gangs or stopping a tsunami. His bravery had often inspired her own, when she let it.

"You did hurt me, Walter. And it didn't hurt because I was unhappy." She bit down on her lip, too jumpy in her own skin and realizing she probably wouldn't relax until she'd said everything that had been building up inside her for months. "God, I'm sorry. I wish I could erase that night. I do. But it happened. And we were just a pressure cooker waiting to explode."

"Only because we didn't talk. We should have talked about what was bothering us. W-We…we're bad at that."

Paige cracked a smile despite herself. "Yeah. We are."

"We could be better. If we made a conscious effort." Walter grew a little bolder and closed the distance, reaching out to take one of her hands. His skin was warm and Paige found herself gripping him tighter, desperate to keep the contact. "I don't want to lose you. N-Not permanently, I mean. Not if there's still a chance that we could be happy together."

Somewhere in her petty mind, she had taken the fact that he hadn't tried to win her back as proof that he'd already moved on. But he was trying now and she didn't really have a leg to stand on anymore.

She didn't want one. She missed Walter and there had never been anything she wanted more than to build a family with him and her son. Even if the road to that hadn't always been as smooth as she'd hoped.

"I don't want to lose you either. I never did. I know that sounds stupid, considering how I left things, but…" Paige sighed, tilting her head. "I'm always going to have insecurities. I don't think they'll ever go away completely. You have to understand that."

He nodded. "I'll always struggle with my EQ. But we've faced worse obstacles."

"I guess we have." Having him close again felt so good, and she knew there was so much more to say, about Florence and his lying and her outburst and their corporate rivalry, but it could wait until tomorrow. Paige let go of his hand and slid her arms behind his neck, melting against him as his arms wrapped around her back. The kiss was comforting and familiar and she couldn't believe how wrong everything had felt without this.

Paige tucked her head into Walter's shoulder when they separated, feeling the reverberation in his chest when he laughed softly. "What?"

"Ralph's watching us from the window. He gave me a thumbs-up."

She rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance but smiling at the thought of her son probably grinning ear to ear. "Well, I guess you might as well come upstairs then."


End file.
